The world according to me....

Ingredients:
Michael Coyne
Two satellite tags
Lots of epoxy
Humid weather
Some driving
Eager beach patrollers
Collaborators from Newport Aquarium

Methods:
1) Go get Michael Coyne, who happened to be spending a week with his family on Topsail Island, and bring to Bald Head Island.
2) Wait at Bald Head Island Conservancy house for a radio from patrollers that a turtle is nesting. Take a golf-cart ride to the beach access, walk 200 meters to the turtle, and wait until she is finished nesting. With the help of BHIC interns, set up turtle for satellite tag attachment, apply epoxy (not too much!) and PTT, wait for it to dry. Add some antifouling paint at the end, wait another 45 minutes, then allow turtle to go to the sea. Go to sleep a few hours
3) Early next morning, get dropped off at the ferry by kind Maureen of BHIC. Go to Southport coffee shop for caffeine, then go to Southport Ferry to Fort Fisher Aquarium. There, tag and sample blood from a Kemp's ridley and loggerhead to be released in a few days.
4) Attach another satellite tag to the loggerhead at Fort Fisher Aquarium: make Michael do the epoxying (see photo above). Constantly step in front of video camera, obscuring field of view. Add enough (but not too much) epoxy so that the PTT remains secure. Let dry, then say goodbyes to the crews from Newport and Fort Fisher Aquaria.
5) Head back to Topsail by way of the Topsail Turtle Rehabilitation Center.

Serving suggestions:
Ensure that the turtles' movements are available on www.seaturtle.org/tracking

Optional variations:
Turn on satellite tags the night before they are deployed, not only to test that the tags function but also to increase the blood pressure of Brendan Godley. It will also ensure that you get a telephone call in a few hours.